A Shadowed Heart
Mission 1: Unscheduled Madness
Location: Nokomis' Quarters
Timeline: Day 2: 2100 Hours
Nokomis sighed and dropped into her favorite chair. Her neck was aching a bit and she felt as if she were so close to just taking a sledgehammer to the warp core for stress releasing purposes, not because she thought hitting it with something would make it work. That was a funny Human perception she'd never understood despite being raised among them.
She was tempted to take up drinking but knew it was an empty threat. She didn't like losing control of anything really, especially her own body and mind. The tiniest of sounds hit her ears. It sounded like someone had let out a breath and she sat bolt upright looking toward the other side of the room.
From the corner of the room sat a shadow that seemed to be humanoid but lacking any clear definition in the darkness. It was peaceful, yet threatening all in one moment. It let out another slightly frustrated sigh. One arm formed more solid as a finger traced the armrest of the chair lazily. It seemed to be waiting to be addressed. Was she going to keep it waiting all night?
"What are you doing here?" Nokomis frowned slightly as she flopped back down where she'd been moments before, once she realized it was only Logan. "Come to gloat about sending me on the field trip with the kids?"
The piercing eyes gazed at her from the chair as he spoke. "You always did enjoy finding time for others. That's your greatest strength and your greatest weakness, Missy." The shadows seemed to blur his definition somewhat but he waved his hand from one side to the other lazily. "Maybe that's why you never went for it..."
That was a strange thing for Logan to say, she turned her head slightly. "Went for what? Did you have a bad day?" It wasn't unusual for them to discuss what ailed them, they had for years but it was uncharacteristic for him to have let himself into her private space and to be sitting in the shadows like he was.
"Why you never pursued me, of course," he said matter-of-factly. "You always kept a certain distance and ignored how you felt inside. Maybe you didn't want to think how it affected me?" He let that sink in for a moment before he rose and walked over to where she was seated, the light barely affecting the darkness around him.
Nokomis barely registered that her mouth had fallen open. Then a thought slipped into her mind and her face became neutral again. "Is this some kind of joke?" It really wasn't funny, but there was no way for him to know that she had feelings for him, she'd always hid them well since the academy. Or so she had believed.
"This certainly isn't a laughing matter. Unless you took pleasure in abandoning me all those years ago. You knew that you should've spoken up about how you felt... how you felt about her."
She felt as if someone had smacked her. "I never abandoned you. I was always there. And what difference would it have made? You never showed any interest in my direction, except friendship." Her voice was soft, having lost any of its power.
A faint look of sheer surprise took hold of his face. "Clearly you were too self absorbed to see the obvious signs I gave you. Why didn't you at least try?" He chuckled darkly. "Then again, that's not your way. You walk away from things..."
Nokomis opened her mouth but found herself closing it again. Was that true? Had she walked away from nearly everything in her life? Not from Starfleet surely but from the responsibility of being more than an XO? From her feelings for Logan? Had she really been so afraid all this time? But why now? Why tell her this when they were years past his relationship with Betty? She felt numb but knew it wouldn't last, her hands were already starting to shake.
Logan slowly turned around as a look of angry disgust formed on his darkened face. He angled his head to one side and uttered, "Nothing to say? Typical..." He slowly walked to the edge of the room as the shadows danced around him, twisting his form apart until Nokomis was alone in the room again.
She remained still for only a few seconds. Nokomis realized he had vanished and bolted from the couch. What the hell had that been? Certainly not Logan, he wouldn't have said those words to her, would he? A nagging feeling in the back of her mind made her move toward the door. She needed to make sure.
Commander Logan Barrett
Commanding Officer, USS Orion
Lieutenant Commander Nokomis Diza
Executive Officer, USS Orion